Dear Maleva,
I have a simple question on tango etiquette.
I dance with a variety of women and I have noticed that some of the women like to either hum or talk while we are dancing. This puts a damper on my dancing and enjoyment while I am concentrating on the music and the surrounding traffic. What is the best way to make them stop? I don't want to be rude but at the same time, if this keeps up, I will not want to dance with them again. Other than those annoyances, I enjoy dancing with them.
I guess this question applies to other distracting behaviour or conditions such as excess perspiration, unpleasant odors, etc. Can you help?

Dear Reader,

I guess a simple question deserves a simple answer so I'll try to keep it short. If a woman does something that you find annoying either don't dance with her anymore - or if it's someone you are familiar with perhaps you could ask her to stop. But there really is no polite way to tell someone you don't like their singing. I am surprised the singing bugs you because many men I know say they like it when a woman sings or hums, and I personally like it when a man does so as well. (As long as its not off-key, or even worse - off beat! I could see how THAT would be very distracting.)

However, talking (aside from a word or comment once in a while) is a tango faux pas, whether it is a blow-by-blow reaction to the steps you are leading, or a running commentary on what is going on in the room around you, or a one-sided discussion on the particular orchestra that is playing, off-topic from tango altogether. Ladies - No Talking! I find there is a fairly easy way to deal with the talkers - don't answer back. If they don't get a verbal reaction then usually they will simmer down. If this doesn't work, perhaps you could suddenly lead a couple complicated steps to bring their concentration back to the dancing at hand. Most people would find it hard to speak in the middle of a dramatic volcada or fast colgada!

As for excess perspiration - absolutely nothing you can do about that. (Although I don't know many ladies who sweat as much as a man does.) Unpleasant odors - offer them gum? Dentyne just came out with a berry flavor they call 'Tango' - but then you may have to deal with her chewing and smacking in your ear...