Dear Maleva,
I am relatively new to Tango and I enjoy dancing with partners either newer yet or at my own level. Sometimes I dance with someone more advanced, and we have a hard time getting along on the dance floor. What do I do as a leader with a more advanced partner who adds flourishes that I am not leading? What if she wants a close embrace that doesn't give me room to navigate?
Simplicity is Best

Dear Simplicity,

People usually have the best dances with someone who is about at their same level, but that doesn't mean you can't still enjoy your dances with the more advanced followers. If by flourishes, you mean embellishments, then those are not led, and you don't need to worry about them. The leg that the follower is standing on belongs to you, as the leader, and it is the follower's job to stay on it as long as you want her there. The follower free legs belongs to her and she can use it however she wants to express the music, through taps, kicks, circles etc. as long as she is always ready for your next lead. Don't let the embellishments scare you! Keep dancing, she is timing her adornments to fit into the step that you have given her and if you stop and watch or worry that she is not following then you will break the flow of the dance for both of you. A good follower can embellish without disrupting the lead at all.

However, if by 'flourishes' you mean she is going on automatic-ocho-pilot or doing unprovoked molinetes in a circle around you while you just stand there...(don't laugh, I've seen it happen!)...well, there's nothing you can really do about that, except realize that it's not your fault - she's the one not following.

Sometimes even tougher than dancing with someone with a different experience level than your own is dancing with someone who prefers a different sort of embrace than you do. Usually when you begin the dance you can get a sense of what sort of embrace the other person wants and find somewhere that is comfortable for both of you. If both people want it close, great, and if both people want it open, great. If one person wants it close and one person wants it open, it is really best to go open. A forced close-embrace is yucky. Also, in my opinion, a follower should try to give the leader the kind of embrace he is comfortable dancing with, especially if she is more advanced. However, there are plenty of followers who will go ahead and plaster themselves on you. If you are not used to doing steps with someone stuck to your chest, then it can be daunting. You can always make it clear to her that you need more space, either by wiggling away as best you can, or just telling her. But if you decide to give it a whirl, then stay true to the nickname you've given yourself and keep it simple. Just walk, do ochos, rocksteps, and whatever other basic things you know until you learn how to do the fancier things close. If you try your best to give her a comfy embrace, being extra careful of her axis, and listen to the music, you will probably both enjoy the dance. Also, in terms of navigating the floor, make sure you stay to the outside edge of the dance floor, close to the wall. You won't be able to see to your right side if a woman's cheek is against yours and the worst place to be is in the middle...