Hello Maleva,

I read your advice column with both chuckle and appreciation as you have certainly been immersed in the peculiar yet exhilarating culture of tango. Perhaps you can shed some light on my predicament. I have been dancing tango for close to two years. I still consider myself a "beginner" in the true tango sense. I have taken from so many different teachers with so many different styles that I have made a decision to stay with estilo milonguero which I love very much (Lo de Celia is a perfect example as you have aptly indicated in your advice. And of course, I have taken Susana Miller's classes with tremendous interest and respect. Also, Cacho Dante's class is very good).
Here is my problem: I would like to continue to learn the milonguero style in US, but almost all of the teachers, both local and Argentineans do not teach that style since it is not "sexy" or fun for most of the American tango students. On top of this problem is that most women prefer to do fancy boleos, back sacadas, and ganchos instead of simple contra tiempo steps with rhythm and enjoyment. To most of these women, the connection with partner is secondary to showing off their steps.

So, I end up dancing very little or cheating by doing those "fancy steps" I have no true interest in.
Do you have any suggestions? I can't keep going to Buenos Aires to dance milonguero style. I would go broke in no time.
Thank you,
Milonguero in training.

Dear Milonguero in Training,

It's hard for everyone to find partners they like dancing with, no matter what style they are partial to. It's especially hard for people who like Milonguero style sometimes, as you said, because it's not as commonly taught. It has a reputation for being hard to teach to beginners and some teachers think Americans can't learn it, at least not right away, because Americans are afraid of close body contact. (Not true.)

People also categorize Milonguero style as 'inward' and only about feeling and other styles as 'outward' and more about looks. Women want to look pretty when they dance. They like boleos and ganchos because they are flashy and women associate looking pretty with being flashy. But ladies can look just as beautiful doing simple steps - it's all in the way they move. If a woman moves gracefully and beautifully and musically it doesn't matter what 'step' she is doing. AND there are tons of cute ways to embellish the smaller steps associated with Milonguero style and still look 'flashy' while keeping a strong connection with the leader.

Anyhow, I'm not sure where you live but most communities of a reasonable size have some good dancers and in my experience, most followers who are good will enjoy dancing with a leader who is also good, regardless of what style he dances. I myself would rather dance with a good nuevo-style leader than a bad milonguero-style leader. I find that it is usually the women (and men) who are newer to tango who are still impressed only with the showier steps.

There are different styles of tango, but in the end it really is all one dance and if you dance well it's going to be enjoyable to the other person. And in my opinion the key to doing it well, in any style, is having a good connection. So dance with the women of all styles and find the ones who know how to connect. If they like to do the flashy moves, you can still keep them happy. Who says you can't have drama AND rhythm? Milongueros do boleos too! You can do boleos, as well as deep thigh-thumping sacadas and ganchos, all in a close embrace and to contra tiempo rhythms. Another dramatic move that has been very fashionable lately, the volcada (where you lead the woman to 'fall' on you), is perfect for close embrace.

Of course, traveling to Buenos Aires is great for finding milongueras to dance with, but you should consider traveling within the US as well. Go to the festivals in Denver and Portland especially, and Washington DC too. You'll meet great dancers from all over the country. Many of the women who attend these events can dance any style and I'm sure you'll have great milonguero dances with them. Also travel to workshops. If no one in your city teaches what you want to learn, then find out when close embrace workshops are being held in your region. You mention Susan Miller and Cacho Dante, who are both great, and there are a number of American teachers who travel around the country who are also very good.