Dear Maleva,
I've been taking classes in close embrace and feel pretty comfortable with it, but whenever I go out to a milonga, I always wind up dancing more open with the woman. Usually I'll ask them before we start if they would prefer to dance open or close and usually they will choose open. Yet, when I watch these same women dance with other men they often dance close. Whats going on? How can I get them to dance close with me too? Do I smell?

Dear Reader,

I'm sure you don't smell! I think your problem however, is that you are asking the followers first. The embrace that is formed between 2 people is something that happens naturally, and doesnt need to be discussed beforehand. Perhaps when you ask them, the followers are led to believe that you yourself are not used to dancing close and then they choose the other option. Next time when you go out, if you want to dance close with someone, here is what I would suggest: Invite the lady, face her on the dance floor, take her right hand in your left hand, walk in close to her until your chests are touching (looking slightly to your left so you dont stick your nose in her face), and only then let your right arm curve around her back. This is kind of a sneaky way to move in, and dont worry, a woman who really isn't comfortable will not let you get this close in the first place. She can always choose her distance non-verbally by where she places her hand along your arm or back. (And if she puts an arm between you, don't ever try to pull her closer.)