Ask Maleva: A Tango Advice Column

February 2005

I had a similar question about which way to turn the head from a lady a few months back- you can see my answer here:

Which Way Do I Look??

So for your question, I decided to get the guys' perspective: I asked 2 different leaders for their take on which way a follower should turn her face. I think the consensus between the two of them is that there must never be any tension in the neck for either person, whichever way they look. And I personally think that in general it is more comfortable to connect the soft cheek bits than the bony forehead bits. Read on below for the responses from my 2 guest 'Malevos'.

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Malevo #1's Response

Dear Head-Press,

I agree with you, what you described is not the way to dance close-embrace. I don't mind a face connection, but only if it happens naturally after we've already connected sternums. Sometimes I never even get to touch the follower's cheek, like if she is busty for example. As for direction, she can look either way as long as there is no forward push of her head. If her head is relaxed and our heads touch, it feels good. Basically, tension and tango do not mix. Some follower's have a way of looking to the right and making it feel nice. Omar Vega once told me that the lady should look to the right because she should look at the leader's heart.

-Malevo #1

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Malevo #2's Response

Dear Southern Cali-forehead-nicator,

I have been pondering your inquiry into the dreaded Forehead Incursion, in which one or the other of the partners usurps the other's head space. I pondered for, oh, about twelve point oh six nanoseconds, and this is what came to mind:

The forehead incursion is not a new phenomenon, as can be witnessed by observing many, many, many old photos of tango in it's early years. It could be said that the forehead-to-forehead contact was incidental or staged for the camera, but I think we can realistically infer that head butting is not new to tango.

It is myth that one must touch another's head to inspire or develop intimacy. It is also a myth that as we close the embrace, our heads naturally come together. On the emotional plain, intimacy in this country is often depicted as a kiss, i.e., head to head contact. It is a natural tendency for us tangueros to make the emotional leap to touching our faces or heads in a quest for said intimacy, passion, desire, call it what you will. The problem is that connecting the heads with any but the lightest touches, ANY stress at all in the neck, will automatically disengage the true place of intimacy, the heart. And how many times have our (better) tango teachers told us to lead and follow with our chests? There is a reason beyond just acting macho and having sexy pectoral muscles, and that is to open your body to the possibility of intimacy.

The main issue is balance. If I push your head, even lightly, eventually you will move to protect your neck. I manipulate your balance at the highest point in your body, you head. If you push back, we are fighting a war, albeit a small war, but a war of necks just the same. Our ability to step down onto the ground with energy and intention is lost. Our subtle balance muscles in the back, neck, and legs are no longer of use to us because we are using them for purposes that that they are not intended, i.e., bracing against our partner. And any subtlety in turns is lost the instant we connect our heads. I make my connection in the chest, while relaxing my legs (stiff neck = stiff legs, I promise you) and ask my body to talk to her body, not my chin ramming her forehead into submission.

Be aware leaders AND followers of you neck and it's little stresses, and I guarantee that you will improve your dance 3.625 fold in the first week alone!

So this is a VERY brief look into the realm of the embrace, particularly the intimacy of it. I believe that we should look for the path that leads us to stress-free living and stress-free tango. Women who "seek out" my chin for guidance do not get another dance from me. Cruel? Perhaps. Selfish? Yes. Self preserving? Above ALL ELSE, thank you. How can I offer you the best dances that I've got in me if I have to suffer for it? And why throw away all of those great yoga classes that I paid for...!

-Malevo #2

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Dear Mrs. Maleva,

The 2005 edition of CITA (one of the A.T March festivals in Buenos-Aires) is coming soon, and time has come to register for classes. For the 2004 edition, with, by then, a little more than one year of instruction, I signed for mainly beginners classes, and a few intermediates. For the coming edition, one year later, my first idea was to sign for mainly intermediate classes, and a few beginners.

But last year in the two or three intermediate classes I attended, I noticed that many students had considerably overrated themselves. For instance, Cecilia Gonzales, during a class about boleos, wanted to demonstrate a boleo coming after a preliminary simple molinete (really simple molinete, I was taught it after maybe 6 months of instruction) , and most of the leaders proved unable to lead this molinete, (the few european/australian/japanese leaders seemed ok) so for a moment the boleo class became a molinete class. Later she demonstrated a boleo after a back ocho, and a significant part of the women (non-U.S followers were ok) proved unable to do back ochos. All in all, the few so-called intermediate classes I took were not what I had expected.

So, if I want truly intermediate classes this time, what do I do:
-) I consider that overrating oneself is the common rule, therefore I overrate myself too and sign for the so-called advanced classes, knowing that the main part of the students won't be advanced ones anyway?
-) I consider that the 2004 edition was somehow an exception, a 'bad year', that people in A.T are usually honest when they sign for classes, and I choose, as planned, to share my time between beginners and intermediate classes?

Sure it's difficult for organizers to deal with the students' skills. I saw once, in a festival, a lady who wanted to register for the level 4 (highest) classes but was not too sure, so one of the instructor came, watched her dancing for a while, and said 'level 2 would suit you best. Level 3 if you want but it will be challenging'. As a result she did not register at all...

-P from Paris

Dear P,

Unfortunately what you experienced was not a fluke or a 'bad year'. Intermediate and Advanced classes are always like that. I've been in that situation both as a teacher and a student and I assure you that it's frustrating in both roles.

What I would suggest is that you sign up for the "intermediate" level if you feel that is your current level and do not worry about the other students. Many times a teacher will focus on the student who needs just a bit more guidance in order to get the step and pay less attention to the student who is totally in above their heads. It sounds bad, but it's true. A teacher has a responsibility, foremost, to those that are in the correct level.

Also, if you can bring a friend as a partner to the classes that would be a good idea, and just don't rotate. Many times I've had great learning experiences in classes where the class level was below mine because my partner and I would work on doing the steps the teacher gave in different rhythms, to the left instead of the right and vice versa, and we would even lead it on each other. Even a basic tango class can become quite challenging if you go in-depth in that manner. As a teacher, it's really nice when I see a student do that. It shows that they are taking the initiative to improve.

As for the lady who didn't register because of the instructor's assesment, that's too bad but the truth hurts sometimes. I've always respected and learned more from teachers who have told me the truth instead of those who have just told me what they think I want to hear.

Have fun in Buenos Aires!