Ask Maleva: A Tango Advice Column

December 2003

Dear Maleva,
I enjoyed reading your website and would like to request some advice.
I plan to travel to Buenos Aires the end of February with my husband. We would like to learn close embrace tango during our stay there. Could you recommend some teachers?
Thanks for your kind help.

Dear Reader,

Lucky you to be going to Buenos Aires! You should try to take as many lessons as you can while you are there because they are very cheap compared to US classes -- and I think you will find being able to dance close invaluable for navigating the crowded dance floors there and fitting in.

I would recommend you try out the group classes at the Academia of Susana Miller, the person who has been credited with putting more social dancers on the floor than any other single teacher. It is a large school located on with regular classes almost every night of the week at all skill levels. See the schedule and address at www.susanamiller.com.ar.. (This studio is also host to a couple of weekly milongas, including the all famous El Beso on Wednesday and Sunday nights.) There are a couple of different teachers on staff there, all trained by Susana, and when she is in town Susana herself teaches. The classes are of course all in Spanish, but even though I speak only very basic Spanish I was still able to get the general gist of what was being said. I learned some really great steps that I use all the time when I lead and I also teach some to my students. The teachers were personable and tried to give everyone individual attention. Most of the students were Argentine (one of whom, upon finding out I was American said, "I never understood why people from other countries like tango." ?!? He was nice though.)

The beginner classes were quite basic and began with posture and exercises, and focused a lot on walking and rhythm. However I think this is good for everyone, even if you have been exposed to close embrace before. The intermediate and advanced focused more on step patterns, and they showed some really neat things that you don't see as often on the dance floors in the US.

If you are looking for privates, Susana Miller is wonderful (and very opinionated - she will whip you right into shape!) and there is another teacher named Laura Grinbank who is also very good although I believe she spends a lot of time in Rome nowadays. (click her for her web site) They both speak English. I believe that Tete, considered one of the greatest of the older milongueros, also gives private lessons, although I don't know what kind of teacher he is.

You can learn a lot by just watching of course. One the best places to go to see people who have been dancing for a long time is an 'afternoon' milonga called Lo De Celia. When it gets crowded there, the whole room seems to be dancing as one and its really beautiful to see. Usually the men sit on one side and the women on the other, and the 'cabaceo' is in full effect. You can go there Saturday and Sunday and the address will be in any of the tango guides you pick up there.

Have a great trip!

* * *

Dear Maleva,
I am approaching my golden years, but still love dancing. My partner and I enjoy simple ballroom dancing and weddings, but need something new to spice up our dancing lives, and to possibly impress our friends. Tango looks more challenging than the waltz or foxtrot. As elder beginners, would we look silly?
Thanks,
Have to Dance

Dear Have to Dance,

There is a nice quote about dancing in general that goes: "People don't stop dancing because they get old, they get old because they stop dancing." If you can walk, you can dance! And this is especially true for the Argentine tango.

Other dances may be more about acrobatics and feats of physical competence. Tango is different and wonderful because it is about feeling something on the inside, not showing it on the outside, and about sharing a moment with another person. They say that people dance tango the way they are and as a person with a lot of life experiences you will have a lot to express. Famed Argentine teacher and one of my biggest influences, Susana Miller (who is herself in her late 50s) said once in a workshop that in her studio she sometimes dances with her sister and with her sister's daughter. Although both of these 2 women are great dancers and dance the same style, Susana said her niece feels very different from her sister and that the older woman has many things to say through her dance that come from nostalgia, experience and wisdom in life.

There are many many people in the tango communities all over the world, especially Buenos Aires, who are in their 50s and 60s - perhaps they are even in the majority. I have danced with men who are even in their 80s, and a lot of times they are better than the younger guys!

So go out and learn to tango -- and you should never worry about looking silly when you dance, no matter how old you are!

* * *

Dear Maleva,
I am fairly new to tango, but want to perform. There is a girl who is interested in being my partner, and she is a good dancer, my only concern is our height difference. I am 6' tall and she is 5'3". Do you think I should dance with her?
Thanks,
A Head Above

Dear Head Above,

Usually in dance partnerships, the man is only slightly taller than the woman. Mainly because it is harder to connect properly with someone whose center is much lower than your own, and also because aesthetically it looks better when the couple is in good proportion to each other. Of course, this doesn't necessarily you should immediately rule your friend out.
A couple questions you should ask yourself:

-Most importantly, are you comfortable leading her? I myself am 5'3" and I know certain leaders who are over 6' tall who are expert at leading the littler ladies and who feel absolutely wonderful. However, these leaders have all had many years of experience and dancing with someone much smaller than youself is a skill that does take some time to develop. In the end, what matters most is that you feel good together.

-Visually, will you contrast each other in other ways? i.e. if you are big around the middle as well as tall, and she is skinny as well as short, then I am afraid to say, she may make you look fairly monstrous!

-Can she dance well in 3 1/2" heels???

If you do dance with her, make sure that neither of you breaks one of the cardinal rules of tango, which is: Be Yourself. You must be certain you are not bending over, stooping down, or distorting your posture in other ways to become her height. And, your partner must be true to her own height as well and not dance on her toes to reach up to you, sacrificing her balance and groundedness.

Dear Maleva,
Here's a general question for you. I'm a follower and I want to be asked to dance more. What's your advice?
Thanks,
Sittin' Solo

Dear Sittin' Solo and ALL the Chicas out there,

Yes, it's true that leaders want to dance with women who feel comfortable and follow well (and of course it never hurts if you're attractive and wearing something sexy) but besides these givens, there is one small thing that any woman can do that I think greatly improves the chances of getting asked to dance more often: make sure there is an expression of pure bliss on your face whenever you ARE dancing with someone. If a leader seesking happy and relaxed in someone else's arms, he will be more likely to take you into his own.

I have heard leaders say about women: "She's lovely to dance with, but I see her dancing with other leaders and she always has such a bored/pained/scared/cold expression on her face. I don't want her looking like that over my shoulder!"

SO, try not to hold tension in your face l you lookingook nervous (even if you are sometimes), and never EVER scan around the room with your eyes and watch other dancers or people on the sidelines. Close your eyes if you can and think about putting a tiny, mysterious smile on your lips.

And this is one instance where it's OK to fake it. Even if the guy you are dancing with hasn't put you in the deepest, sleepiest of tango trances....make sure you look like he has, because other leaders are watching and they will notice.