Dear Maleva,
I've been taking numerous classes since I became interested in tango, about one year ago. But not having a regular partner to practice with (once they got a sufficient level to go to milongas, all women in my class lost interest for practice; and it took only weeks for them to reach this level), I quickly forget the sequences I'm taught, unless they're utterly simple. I tried to rehearse alone at home, but it doesn't seem to work, as afterwards in milongas the followers tell me they're not feeling any lead at all. In these conditions, shouldn't I consider giving up classes? Or giving up tango?

Dear Reader,

No, don't give up tango! Learning this dance is not easy, ESPECIALLY for the leaders. It is much, much harder for the men at first and they have so much more to think about than the followers do. A typical beginning follower can progress 3 times as fast as a typical leader and be 'milonga-ready' within a few months while sometimes it takes a year or more for a leader.

I have a couple of suggestions for you:

First, whats wrong with the utterly simple steps? Concentrate on those, because actually the longer patterns are just the simpler steps strung together in an interesting way. Learn the simpler things, lead them well, and before you know it, you'll be able to make your own step patterns.

In classes when you are learning a new step, go ahead and take notes. A lot of people do this, I do it myself sometimes. Who can be expected to remember all that stuff? I have one student who even made a color-coded flow chart to help him remember all of the steps he was learning in our classes! (He's an engineer...)

A lot of leaders get caught up in thinking of 'steps' as what they need to make their feet do -- a followers doesnt care what your feet do, she is following the direction of your chest and center. When you learn something don't get so caught up in where you put your feet that you forget to give the follower the body lead that she needs.

In class, pay attention to what the followers part is and know where it is you are supposed to be sending her. If you only know your own footwork you will have a much harder time knowing whether your step is working and if the follower is going where she is supposed to.

If you can't find a follower to practice with you, maybe you could find a fellow leader who wants to learn and get better and you can try out new steps together. You might also want to consider taking a few classes as a follower. I think its usually very, very helpful for leaders to try out the woman's role. It will show him what the lead is supposed to feel like or not feel like.

And while its true that you can't really practice leading steps by yourself at home there are other things that you can do. One of the things that made a real noticeable difference for me was after I got a couple of CDs of music that I liked and started listening to them incessantly at home. The more I listened, the easier I found it to move to the music, stay on the beat, and express the rhythms. Make sure you have some good CDs (not ballroomy, not overly dramatic, not from a stage show, and not a trio or quartet - but a classic golden age orchestra with real 'compas'), put it on in your home, and dance around by yourself. Practice walking, practice rock steps, practice whatever - dance around like a crazy man! - just make sure the music gets in your bones.

Anyhow, I hope some of these suggestions work for you, and don't forget that tango is not easy and it takes a frustratingly long time to become good at it. But it can also be a lot of fun, and the fact that it was so difficult at the beginning will make it that much more rewarding when you do master it.